Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
