How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
