She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
