And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
