found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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