no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
