I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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