The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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