Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
