I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
