This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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