Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
