Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
