maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
