the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
