Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
