New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
