they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
