If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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