She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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