could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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