do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
