woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
