god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
