are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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