I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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