I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That accounts for only three of the penises
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
