It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
