Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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