Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
