Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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