So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
do herpes really smell.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
