New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
