i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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