Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
