His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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