no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
