dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
