Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
