I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
