Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
