are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
