(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
