we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
