he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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