I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It's never too late to be topless.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
