I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
