i permit you to call me
so that wasnt chicken after all
only if we run a train.
done.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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