haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
