She's JV to your varsity
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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