Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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