I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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